equating.
it frustrates me. & annoys me. that i'm being drawn parallel to this guy i rejected a month ago. I DON"T WANT TO BE LIKE HIM. everything i did to him. the "Mr. I-have-40-blog-posts-in-my-name" is doing to me. it bothers me. i don't deserve it.
a) i didn't want him, MR.IH40BPIMN dun want me
b) we used to talk alot, now we don't talk
c) i used to call MR.IH40BPIMN, but now i dont & the rejected used to call me but now he doesn't
d) i didn't like the rejected cause of my "views on dating", he dun like me cause of the same
e) the rejected was ugly, so i'm ugly
f) the list goes on
it just bothers me. i'm proabably feeling like the rejected does. & that's not fair. i don't deserve this. i'm not a bad person. & it bothers me. that our relationship is going to end...like. EVERY. SINGLE. OTHER. HIM. there ever was. NOW is the part in the story line where we fall out. cause i'm still deeply pissed he dun want me. so i slowly shun him. thinking THINKING like an idiot it affects him & it bothers him. when he doesn't notice. then i eventually fade into the backround & he doesn't remember me. just like...i bet...a billion before me.
*pff* you think he REALLY notices? yeah, well. its kind of hard to maintain the mentality that somethings not wrong with you. when all of this happens. its really hard to hold your head up & believe that you're loved & all that goodness they feed you with in Sabbath school. when this crap happens. Because what's in your head & whats said to you is totally different than whats done to you. you can tell a child they're loved, they're loved, but if they don't feel it, which idiot child is going to belive you?
you can tell a child countless times that they're white, but when they look in the mirror & see brown staring back at them. what are they going to believe?
a) i didn't want him, MR.IH40BPIMN dun want me
b) we used to talk alot, now we don't talk
c) i used to call MR.IH40BPIMN, but now i dont & the rejected used to call me but now he doesn't
d) i didn't like the rejected cause of my "views on dating", he dun like me cause of the same
e) the rejected was ugly, so i'm ugly
f) the list goes on
it just bothers me. i'm proabably feeling like the rejected does. & that's not fair. i don't deserve this. i'm not a bad person. & it bothers me. that our relationship is going to end...like. EVERY. SINGLE. OTHER. HIM. there ever was. NOW is the part in the story line where we fall out. cause i'm still deeply pissed he dun want me. so i slowly shun him. thinking THINKING like an idiot it affects him & it bothers him. when he doesn't notice. then i eventually fade into the backround & he doesn't remember me. just like...i bet...a billion before me.
*pff* you think he REALLY notices? yeah, well. its kind of hard to maintain the mentality that somethings not wrong with you. when all of this happens. its really hard to hold your head up & believe that you're loved & all that goodness they feed you with in Sabbath school. when this crap happens. Because what's in your head & whats said to you is totally different than whats done to you. you can tell a child they're loved, they're loved, but if they don't feel it, which idiot child is going to belive you?
you can tell a child countless times that they're white, but when they look in the mirror & see brown staring back at them. what are they going to believe?
Add a Comment
3 Comments
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Comment by adissageek. on November 21, 2008 at 12:59am - LMAO. Leave me & myself alone. Lols. We're going thru....stuff...chuh. Lols.
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Comment by Justin on November 20, 2008 at 11:51pm - Interesting.
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Comment by adissageek. on November 20, 2008 at 11:28pm
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Note to self : You aren't doomed to repeat all of his mistakes & You're quite the hottest thing on this earth excuse you. & Stop overreacting. You have a coolio relationship with him. Just take it one step at a time. Who wants a guy with hot feet anyways? Remember we've established that signs from him & his "love" means nothing.
Mkie tuts?
*rubs back*
-Nov.20.08
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